Oh My…The Escalator Attacked my Friend!
What is it about watching your friend hit the dirt that makes you want to pee on yourself because you are laughing maniacally?
I am the friend who will laugh at you when you are down on the floor. If you trip and fall, don’t look to me for help because I will not have the strength. You see, I will be buckled over weak with laughter and tears in my eyes. And there is something that happens to my strength when I giggle-I have none. I become weak with the giggles.
Okay. Breathing in slowly to calm myself.
The mall is booming with shoppers on a Saturday afternoon. My friend and I decide to take advantage of some sales going on at the grand opening of Macy’s. My friend, Jessie, is a cute girl with a cute little figure. She is very proud of her newly augmented breasts and she shows of her bustline as much as possible. You know, tight shirts or deep plunging neck lines are a must in her wardrobe.
Jesse was wearing a long skirt, high heals, and a tight button down that is very contoured. She looks pretty good, I think. I usually laugh inside at some of her outfits because they all spell, “look at me, I have boobs!”, but this time the outfit worked.
We pass the perfume counter and check out the new fragrances. I become engrossed in a beauty kit by Lancome, loving the palette that was put together. ”Should I splurge on this?” I am thinking…when suddenly….
I hear the crashing sounds of a table falling over! I do a quick 90 degree turn to find Jess is at the base of the escalator–face down on the ground!!!
First I think I exclaimed, “what the HELL??!!? Then it came into focus for me all at once…..
Jess is caught in the escalator ….ON THE GROUND…STUCK!!!
Her skirt was ripped completely up the back with part of it jammed in the jaws of the escalator!!!
She was kneeling down by the base of the escalator looking at some discount earrings. As she was crouched down, the end of her skirt was draped at the foot of the escalator when it became entangled in the rotating stairs. Jess felt a pulling, and soon realized she was getting sucked in to the escalator. The end of her skirt became swallowed by the teeth in the steal steps, finally jamming the system and stopping the machine. By this time, her skirt was tattered and torn but still stuck.
I was trying to fight the full outburst of laughter that was seeping through in little snort sounds. The security guard and Macy’s saleslady were helping her up when….
my friend turned to face us with one bare breast staring at us all! OMG!!!!! I said with a full outburst of insane laughter following. I took off my hoody that was tied around my waist quickly covering her. She looked like she had been maulled by a ferocious beast. Her neat hair that was in a french twist was now in a birds nest! And for goodness sakes…the boob was the icing on the cake!
The whole visual was a moment I can pull up in my brain, anytime I need a belly laugh. My poor friend! Bless her heart…..she had been attacked by a hungry escalator. I am thinking the department stores should have signs by all escalators stating, “Do NOT feed the Escalators!”
